Well, I'll be ...2026

 Interesting start to the New Year,

Things seemed to be going smoothly, and then it didn't.

My response?  "Nurse save us all!"

"Nurse save us all!" is the description coined by a friend working at Eastern State Hospital in the 1990's about a nurse who goes into overdrive and over-reaching to resolve a crisis, generally making it worse.

And yes, that was me the first two weeks of this month.

From mid-December through the holidays, our youngest daughter had been complaining of intense back and foot pain.  I took her the Dr, sought an evaluation for planter fasciitis, and helped her get new shoes and inserts, pain medication, and hot/cold compresses.  The pain (unbearable by her standards) wasn't diminishing.  I took her to urgent care, where they ran tests. Since we were in process of changing medical insurance, she could not follow up with her pcp before the change took effect, and a new pcp had yet to be identified and scheduled. So, her staff and I were trying all kinds of methods to help her cope with her pain and lack of rest.

In January, there was a lot of last-minute juggling happening on the way to a convert baptism, while trying to coordinate a ride home from the ER for one of the sisters in our ward.  Everyone I contacted had responsibilities at the baptism that evening or were otherwise unavailable to provider her a ride home. I had a minor role to play in the meeting, and had offered to provide refreshments and other things, so I did not want to change those plans. But I still felt responsible to getting the ride arranged and was seeking help to do so up until the opening hymn.

Following the baptism ordinance, we had a musical interval when we were singing hymns accompanied by a pianist without a chorister. On the last hymn I suddenly stood up, walked to the front, and began leading the music as if it was my job to do so. As I returned to my seat, no one commented, but I am sure many wondered "what was that all about?"  As soon as I sat down, I wondered why I followed that impulse and felt silly & conspicuous, 

On the way home, I had a flashback of a time when I stood for a patriotic song at a funeral and refused the whispers of my family saying "Lisa, sit down!" 

A few days later I volunteered to attend the "hospice consultation" for my friend with aggressive cancer.  I had accepted a role to support her and her husband and calm her father while this difficult conversation was happening. The nurse consultant asked everyone to introduce themselves who they were and their relationship with my friend. One was her husband, one was her father, and then there was me.  She is my long-time friend (30+ years) and I feel the pain that they are going through, but I am not immediate family, nor her "best friend".   I felt out of place. On the way home the thought came - you have over-reached again.'

Then the same daughter reported an event that caught me completely off guard, and I worked with her staff to unveil the reality of it.  I was swept up in resolution over the course of the next 3 days and insisting she sleep at our home where I could keep an eye on her.

It took a few days before I recognized. "Nurse save us all" was at play, being super responsive as if I could save them from the wreckage of life struggles. It has taken 2 days of numb contemplation to sort it out and restore into balance again.  I am finally normalizing from the frantic state I have been in,

Funny, how during a crisis, minor or urgent, I can suddenly act as if everything relies on me to resolve it. I am not a savior, but nig or small, I act as if everything depends on me.  It doesn't, I know.

There is only one true Savior, Jesus Christ, who atoned for all of us, forgives and cleanses each of us, and fills out hearts with hope of better days ahead. 

So, take that chill pill Lisa, and let the true Savior do His marvelous work.