In the quiet early evening

It finally hit.  The house is quiet. Only me and the pets and the tumble of the clothes dryer.  The house is full of things, but it is empty.  Maddie has moved out of our home.  

I hear her laughter from playing Tenzi with me at the kitchen table last night, trying to outscore one another and playing another round one more time just so we can both win.  I see her bedroom and other spaces where she crammed an apartment's worth of belongings, now cleared away and empty.  I think of her sharing tasks like taking out the garbage... "I'll get the upstairs, while you get the downstairs." I hear her scolding Cooper, telling him to "go outside" and then setting a 40-minute timer on the Alexa Echo dot indicating he has been out long enough to have finished his business before coming back in.  I imagine her bringing me cookies afterwork and asking "what did you eat today?" Always ensuring that I ate and that we share equal portions of whatever we eat.  I hear her saying "twinsies" as we wear matching dresses or coordinating colors to church on Sunday. I see us laughing as we try to explain the words we thought we heard as we called to one another from upstairs to downstairs. I see her holding Bon-Bon and admiring that she can cuddle with the cat who jumps out of my arms, and saying "Have you see Finn?  Dad is asking where he is." 

My daughter, Maddie, has brought so much joy to my life.  As the last child home, we have transitioned from mother-daughter to friends and confidants. She has been with me nearly everyday for the past 25+ years.  

She moved, because she trusted me.  She didn't want to move, Van didn't want her to move, but I steadily prepared and persisted so that she could discover her independence and flourish in her adulthood.  Last Winter when I was so ill, I determined that she would not have to move from home during another health crisis.  She understands this, and agreed, and believed that she would be ok as we took one step at a time through this process.

Maddie is only a couple of miles away and has taken "ownership" of her apartment that is furnished with 2 couches, a large ottoman, end table, a dining table, her bedroom set, pink rugs, Strawberry Shortcake and Hello Kitty kitchen supplies, and makeup, and all her stuff.  I felt need to reminder that a future roommate may want to bring some of her own stuff too.  She called one of her special needs friends enroute to the apartment today and told her that she was moving into her own apartment. The friend responded with "I'm shocked". "I don't know what to say. I never considered that an option.  Did you Mom move there with you?"  I hope that her friends will also explore supported independent living option as well.  They are all in their mid 20's and there has been no expectation that they would ever live away from their family members.  Two of them are in-home babysitters for nieces and nephews. 

When Maddie and I parted today, it was not a long good-bye.  Just a quick hug, and "I'll see you later."  It helps that Maddie has a caregiver who is youthful and full of ideas of things they can do together from working out, to cooking and cleaning, and doing dance breaks, etc.  Maddie has a remote support for night-time who will provide reminders to lock the doors and brush her teeth and will talk with her through loneliness and night-time spooks. I am her payee, maintaining her budget and paying the bills from her wages and earnings.

Already I am looking forward to Sundays where Maddie and I will share a pew with Alicia and others and her tenderly nudging me on the shoulder 8 times as we pray (a small ritual she developed years ago when only we were our only family members sitting together at church). Then she will come home, and we will play boardgames and talk like old friends before I take her back to her apartment.

Go Maddie!  You are doing it!!

Now, where did I put my warmy?