June 2025 updated

 I am physically uncomfortable today and need to let go of some thoughts and emotions.  The ICE response and protest that occurred in Spokane, WA yesterday afternoon has really upset me, particularly on the heels of the LA, CA protest and response.

A month ago, when my daughter expressed interest in volunteering as an "angel" at the up-coming Spokane PRIDE parade, I thought "where did this come from?"  I knew that she was working with her Community Inclusion provider to see service opportunities in our community, and they had discussed several of them from holding preemies in ICU, to volunteering to work at the food bank.  They also looked at free community activities like dance classes and providing water for fun runs, etc.  When she presented the Pride parade idea, I was taken by surprise.  My daughter is very compassionate toward all who experience bias and discrimination, but activism was a whole new concept.  Did she know that a Pride Parade is controversial in our community, and she may experience personal criticism for her willingness to participate?  Is she aware of how to manage herself in a loud, chaotic crowd of 50,000 participants? Would she stay with her group or wander off like she does in the store or at Silverwood?  Does she know activism is? As she explained how she would be shielding participants from negative signs along the route, I wanted to say that she mainly attracted to the "angel" costume and the fun expression of bright colors, glitter, and dressing up.  But she was sincere.  Of course she loves the glam, but her heart is really about shielding against bias.  So, I relented, made arrangements with her advisor to drop her off and pick her up downtown, and shopped with her pointing out modest rainbow apparel.  She was excited.

Then Tuesday a protest against ICE interference escalated in Los Angeles and I watched videos online wondering why - why is there so much turmoil over immigration, and what - what impact might this have across our nation and in Spokane. I told my daughter I was hesitant about her participating in the parade on Saturday.  I shared with her the news of the LA conflict and she questioned why a conflict in LA would affect Spokane.  I said the tension across the nation is growing higher and in the next few days, we would likely see that tension escalate in Spokane, as well. As we considered the rising tension, I learned that a "No Kings protest" is scheduled on the heels of the PRIDE Parade and I panicked.  This was not going to be a quiet event.  She suggested that we pray about her participation.  She offered the prayer and within moments I felt calm enough to sleep.  The next morning, I told her about the calm feeling I had that allowed me to sleep, but as the morning progressed, I wondered more about what the calm meant.  I hesitated to tell her that I felt peaceful about going, and questioned my interpretation of the calm presence.  Oddly, throughout the day I thought of Abraham and Issac, and how Abraham was asked to sacrifice his son.  I knew that this wasn't an Abraham & Isaac situation, and I wasn't asked to sacrifice my daughter, but what if some harm did happen to her at the Parade.  How would I handle it?  How would my husband handle it?  Would I blame myself?  Do I trust God to help us handle it?  

I know it sounds hideously dramatic, but my mind can go to extremes if I allow it.  I recalled a recent talk related to a BYU conference.  The woman talked about how she was driving her children and received an impression out of nowhere she was about to be tested and needed to trust God.... right before an accident claimed young her son.  I mentally wrangled with these thoughts throughout the day.  I noted in the temple prayer circle that the blessing of "courage" was requested.  

Later yesterday evening, my oldest daughter called me EnRoute to her 2nd job.  Mom, can you do a little sleuthing for me?  Something is going on in Spokane.  There are police cars and streets blocked. It looks like a SVU episode. Do you know what might be going on?  I quickly checked the news and became informed of a protest that erupted in Spokane about 30 minutes before when a 21-year-old man from Venezuela requesting asylum was taken into custody by ICE. The situation was quickly escalating with SPD, Spokane Sherriff Department, and allegedly, Idaho state police/Sherriff departments involved. An emergency curfew was ordered and implemented for the downtown area.  Panic started to re-surface latching onto my thoughS89iobhants and emotions. I told my daughter that I did not want her to attend the Parade on Saturday. She said, "But felt calm like everything would be OK.  What happened?  I acknowledged that I had felt calm, but the calm had vanished.  We decided again to pray.  This time, I remained uneasy and when I awoke, I said "it's a no go."

This morning, I learned that 30 people were arrested in that protest.  I tried not to imagine what could happen this Saturday downtown.

And all day, I have been agitated.  I am unfocused, a bit nauseated, anxious and seriously thinking I need to find a way to "chill out!"  I took a drive form our home int he Valley to the 5-Mile area where Van and I planned to look at some homes as possible future retirement downsizing options.  I listened to Helaman chapters 11-14, and bits and pieces of other books/talks.   When I arrived at the destination, I knew that 5-mile prairie was not going to be called home.  The homes were nice, and one of them was by a preferred home builder, but it was not going to be home.  I drove back, no longer considering the area as an option. The only place that feels like home is our Spokane valley south location.  I never through I would consider a DR Horton speck home, but I feel like the single level Cali plan in Elk Meadows may become out future retirement home.  It is not the house of our dream, it is a practical and affordable option here in our Spokane Valley (if we don't die first - lol).  We do know that our 1800 square foot split entry home on 1/3 acre has become too much for us to handle.  I always intended that this would be our transition home for about 7 years, but 7 years became 30 years as stability became a higher priority for our family need.

Well, I am glad that I could "download" my thoughts.  Siobhan is batting and chewing on my fingers as I type, letting me know it is past her dinner hour.

Forecasting a more peaceful and productive day tomorrow....Lisa

Post script:

The Pride Parade went smoothly in Spokane.  My daughter and I have talked about it for two days following the event, and has she learns about others peacefully having fun, she asked "Why didn't you listen to the calm prompting you felt on Tuesday instead of your anxiety on Thursday?"  

Good question.

My answer: I am still learning.  Learning how the spirit speaks to me.  Learning to trust impressions in the face of anxiety and opposition. 

I listened to an April 2025 LDS General Conference talk this evening by Elder Ronald Rasband "Personal Preparation to Meet the Savior".   Follow Jesus Christ. Trust the Holy Spirit as you would a cherished friend. Rely on those who love you and love the Savior.  Seek God's guidance to develop your unique abilities, and help others, even when it isn't easy.  In doing so you will be ready to and can join President Nelson in being joyfully optimistic meet the Savior.

 (aka Need not be fearfully anxious.)