Living while enduring.....
Yesterday I attended two funerals and a wedding. Sounds like a movie title doesn't it?
As is typical with me, I went through the motions without a lot of thought other than going through the motions. Just get things done. I tend to do that when I have a lot on my plate. It's afterward that I start to actually think again.
So today I'm thinking and attending stake conference and thinking again.
The subject of one funeral was a 38 year old man who had struggled since high school with drug addiction. He had periods of time when he was clean and able to participate in ordinances of his faith. He had other periods of time he struggled with weakness that led to the loss of a marriage, and life away from some of his children. As the family shared his life sketch, they focused on his strengths - his love for family, his services to others, and his warmth in communicating with people. He was often impulsive which placed him and others in harms way. He cautioned his younger vulnerable brother to avoid pitfalls that had ensnared him while in middle and high school, and worked with other brothers to rescue the same brother who had not headed him. Testimonies that followed reminded us that we cannot judge another man because of his weakness. Weakness in people do not make them evil. Weakness is weakness. Evil is evil. And God decides which is which, and he delights in granting mercy for our weaknesses.
I couldn't help but see the parallel with my son, his addictions, and our struggles. And I wonder am I demonstrating the mercy needed to endure in love with him?
The wedding was for a couple who by our standards is too young and immature to marry. They are not yet able to support themselves, and yet they live in harmony with one another in his mother's home. The wedding was outdoors, the setting was beautiful. The bride and groom were well supported by their fragmented and splintered families.The bride arrived in a horse drawn carriage. The ceremony was traditional in vows and the music was full of youthful love ending with "We Go Together" from the musical Grease. Refreshments included cotton candy and flavored popcorn. And the couple drove away in a car tagged with cans and writing. They returned 20 minutes later after being locked out of the house and leaving a cell phone behind.
I thought of their youth, the trials ahead, and hoped they would find strength to carry their relationship beyond a couple of years.
The later memorial service was for a 51 year old woman friend who had breast cancer followed by leukemia, remission, and then re-occurrence of leukemia. This beautiful woman was no stranger to hardship even before the cancer. She felt estranged from her mother, one of her grown boys no longer spoke to her because of a squabble following the death of her mother, another had estranged himself from their faith, and the youngest lived a life with severe autism. Yet, when faced with the odds of her survival (20%) she remarked that she had always been in the top 20% in all areas of her life, and this would be another. She touched people, extending a radiant smile, friendship, and concern for their needs. She was energetic and talented....a gardener, a quilter, a cook, and a party planner. I witnessed in her marriage one of the greatest love stories I'd ever scene. She was the light and delight of her husband's world.
I thought how when I go through trials, I hold my breath, grit my teeth, dig in, and get it done. But I also withdraw emotionally and isolate myself from people I love.
I would do well to adopt a new way of living - Living while enduring.
As is typical with me, I went through the motions without a lot of thought other than going through the motions. Just get things done. I tend to do that when I have a lot on my plate. It's afterward that I start to actually think again.
So today I'm thinking and attending stake conference and thinking again.
The subject of one funeral was a 38 year old man who had struggled since high school with drug addiction. He had periods of time when he was clean and able to participate in ordinances of his faith. He had other periods of time he struggled with weakness that led to the loss of a marriage, and life away from some of his children. As the family shared his life sketch, they focused on his strengths - his love for family, his services to others, and his warmth in communicating with people. He was often impulsive which placed him and others in harms way. He cautioned his younger vulnerable brother to avoid pitfalls that had ensnared him while in middle and high school, and worked with other brothers to rescue the same brother who had not headed him. Testimonies that followed reminded us that we cannot judge another man because of his weakness. Weakness in people do not make them evil. Weakness is weakness. Evil is evil. And God decides which is which, and he delights in granting mercy for our weaknesses.
I couldn't help but see the parallel with my son, his addictions, and our struggles. And I wonder am I demonstrating the mercy needed to endure in love with him?
The wedding was for a couple who by our standards is too young and immature to marry. They are not yet able to support themselves, and yet they live in harmony with one another in his mother's home. The wedding was outdoors, the setting was beautiful. The bride and groom were well supported by their fragmented and splintered families.The bride arrived in a horse drawn carriage. The ceremony was traditional in vows and the music was full of youthful love ending with "We Go Together" from the musical Grease. Refreshments included cotton candy and flavored popcorn. And the couple drove away in a car tagged with cans and writing. They returned 20 minutes later after being locked out of the house and leaving a cell phone behind.
I thought of their youth, the trials ahead, and hoped they would find strength to carry their relationship beyond a couple of years.
The later memorial service was for a 51 year old woman friend who had breast cancer followed by leukemia, remission, and then re-occurrence of leukemia. This beautiful woman was no stranger to hardship even before the cancer. She felt estranged from her mother, one of her grown boys no longer spoke to her because of a squabble following the death of her mother, another had estranged himself from their faith, and the youngest lived a life with severe autism. Yet, when faced with the odds of her survival (20%) she remarked that she had always been in the top 20% in all areas of her life, and this would be another. She touched people, extending a radiant smile, friendship, and concern for their needs. She was energetic and talented....a gardener, a quilter, a cook, and a party planner. I witnessed in her marriage one of the greatest love stories I'd ever scene. She was the light and delight of her husband's world.
I thought how when I go through trials, I hold my breath, grit my teeth, dig in, and get it done. But I also withdraw emotionally and isolate myself from people I love.
I would do well to adopt a new way of living - Living while enduring.
Comments
Love ya, Jo