A Challenge "write your why"

 Have you ever had someone ask you to write your "why"?  

It is very different than writing "Who" I am, or "What" I want, think, or feel.  Asking "Why" requires introspection on motivation.  It may be "Why do I ...?" or "Why don't I...?" or "Why not...?"

Avoiding the "Why?" seems to give me an "out".  I am not responsible. I am not in charge. I am not accountable. It makes it easy to accept my excuses. However, it is a bit humiliating to accept that in my 60's, as a "mature" adult, I still make whinny excuses for not reach beyond a bad habit.

So, my foodie friend has listened to my "wish" to eat healthy, reduce sugar, and minimize medication side effects. When I mentioned my resistance to changing habits (or lack of habits) which is my weak and feeble attempt to back away and not commit - was called out!  She took me on! 

I have been assigned to write my "Why?"

"My why" will have to motivate me, set my sloppy excuses aside, and finally succeed in making a permanent change.  "Lisa, if you really want to do this, you will have to "white-knuckle it" for a week or two."  Your "why" is what will get you through the white-knuckle phase,

And I thought Cancer was tough! - lol

So here we go.

My why.

I want to be strong and healthy, not miserable or wimpy, in this battle I am in. I want to have the best opportunity for success. 

This is not just about food.  Eating habits are only one thing of many things I need to discipline. However, since this is so essential to sustaining my life right now, this is where I will begin.

When I retire, I want to establish routines, not a ton, but enough to bring satisfaction.  I have watched people lose their way, feeling unproductive, or de-valued.  Even now, while I am employed, it is easy for me to just "relax" when my workday is done.  Feeling fatigue and short of breath, I am already prone to "cherry picking" where I will place my energy.  A chronic illness makes it is easier to allow complacency to take the driver's seat followed by a trunk full of excuses.  I really don't want that.

Why?  Doing so becomes a slippery slope to self-loathing.  

I know the musical "Wicked" has recently popularized the concept of "loathing", but there is no joy in "self-loathing". 

Complacency followed by a trunk full of excuses is akin to "hell".  Why would I, why would anyone, want to dwell there?!!

I have felt the tender and sturdy love of God in my life.  A love that comes by covenanting and reaching.

I have felt God's love for me. I have felt His love work through me.

I want to feel that love and encouragement all the days of my life.  

And if it means I need to discipline myself to continue experiencing it, that is "my why".