Hydration

One of side effects of MBC is a loss of appetite.  I nibble throughout the day rather than eat meals.  It is easy for me to ignore the signs of dehydration, and malnourishment as I prioritize breathing in and out, and the most basic daily activities. Currently, paused between a failed hormonal treatment, and a PET scan, I wait in limbo, wondering what the next treatment will be.  

My lungs are affected with pleural effusion.  The lining of my heart is dripping with malignant cancerous cells. What other parts of my body has the cancer invaded? the liver, the kidneys, the brain?

Last night I was hit with significant stomach cramping as my bowels emptied.  The pain was sharp, stimulating the vagal nerve, causing me to perspire and wanting to groan.  The closest I have ever come to labor pains, as I reminded myself to breathe in and breathe out while each the painful wave smooths out. 

I subsequently made a mental note to eat and hydrate rather than neglect, regardless of the lack of mental desire to do so.  This necessity that cannot be ignored.  

I am tired, not exhausted.  

Trust, I am in His care.