The "buy in" or lack thereof
Ever try to motivate someone who has no desire to become motivated themselves? How do you convince a teenage boy to "buy into" organizing, studying, learning, doing chores?
So much effort is being placed into helping this kid with tools, planners, ideas, programs, etc. People all around him are working so hard for his success, but he is not. Without that one key person, it fails.
In therapy yesterday Chin strap told me for the millionth time "I forget to... My memory is bad." And I said if you had one person with you all day reminding you what you need to do so you wouldn't forget, you'd be pretty irritated and annoyed with that person, right? "I wouldn't like that." But you don't have one person you have many people reminding you to do what you need to do to succeed. You have the Emporer, Galapagos, Rockhopper, Humbolt, Adelie, and each of your teachers at school and church - all trying to help you stay on track and remember the things that are important. And you are angry with each one of us. If you were that one person instead of all of us, would you be mad at yourself? "I guess not." Then think about this. If you were the reminder to yourself instead of all of us - how much happier you would be! Instead of spending you energy being mad, you would be accomplishing things and feeling good and happy. "I guess so."
So much effort is being placed into helping this kid with tools, planners, ideas, programs, etc. People all around him are working so hard for his success, but he is not. Without that one key person, it fails.
In therapy yesterday Chin strap told me for the millionth time "I forget to... My memory is bad." And I said if you had one person with you all day reminding you what you need to do so you wouldn't forget, you'd be pretty irritated and annoyed with that person, right? "I wouldn't like that." But you don't have one person you have many people reminding you to do what you need to do to succeed. You have the Emporer, Galapagos, Rockhopper, Humbolt, Adelie, and each of your teachers at school and church - all trying to help you stay on track and remember the things that are important. And you are angry with each one of us. If you were that one person instead of all of us, would you be mad at yourself? "I guess not." Then think about this. If you were the reminder to yourself instead of all of us - how much happier you would be! Instead of spending you energy being mad, you would be accomplishing things and feeling good and happy. "I guess so."
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