Personal Progress....or not
The Emperor left for work yesterday, and left a totally clean organized kitchen for us to come home to. When he came home, the kitchen was a wreck and dishes weren't done.
I startled awake this morning to a distrubing dream which left me aghast with wonder. Then I realized the colony member who was assigned dishes left the kitchen a mess. My inclination was to wake him early for seminary, and go back to bed without making his breakfast and lunch until he figured out he needed to clean the kitchen.
Fortunately for all of us, the spirit whispered "threre's another way." Instead I shifted and envisioned a different result. I entered his room after he showered, and sat on his bed. "I thought about teaching you a lesson this morning, but decided it wasn't the lesson I wanted to teach. SO I'm proposing cooperation. You and I will go into the kitchen and do the dishes together, then we'll make your breakfast and lunch." He was a little slower than I would like getting to the kitchen, but I began rinsing and stacking - quietly. He joined me and said "how are we going to do this?" I said "You lead." so he chose a part, and I did a part. We talked, got it done, and yes he was late for seminary, but the mood was so much better. He asked me "So what lesson were you thinking about teaching me at first?" I explained passive-aggressive but I think our family is already expert at that one, and it's not one that we really want to lear better. It's not the best lesson, so I opted for cooperation. which one do you like better?" "cooperation", he said. Then to my surprise, he supplied an example of how he recently was passive-aggressive to his sibling.
Big step for both of us! I chose a different way, and he recognized his behavior without blaming others, and the emperor has a clean kitchen, but he's asleep and doesn't know it yet. Win. win. win!
Postscript. That night Rockhopper had a 2 plus hour tantrum and Galapagos retreated into her room for the duration. Anything else would have fed into his demands for personal attention. Miles to go!
I startled awake this morning to a distrubing dream which left me aghast with wonder. Then I realized the colony member who was assigned dishes left the kitchen a mess. My inclination was to wake him early for seminary, and go back to bed without making his breakfast and lunch until he figured out he needed to clean the kitchen.
Fortunately for all of us, the spirit whispered "threre's another way." Instead I shifted and envisioned a different result. I entered his room after he showered, and sat on his bed. "I thought about teaching you a lesson this morning, but decided it wasn't the lesson I wanted to teach. SO I'm proposing cooperation. You and I will go into the kitchen and do the dishes together, then we'll make your breakfast and lunch." He was a little slower than I would like getting to the kitchen, but I began rinsing and stacking - quietly. He joined me and said "how are we going to do this?" I said "You lead." so he chose a part, and I did a part. We talked, got it done, and yes he was late for seminary, but the mood was so much better. He asked me "So what lesson were you thinking about teaching me at first?" I explained passive-aggressive but I think our family is already expert at that one, and it's not one that we really want to lear better. It's not the best lesson, so I opted for cooperation. which one do you like better?" "cooperation", he said. Then to my surprise, he supplied an example of how he recently was passive-aggressive to his sibling.
Big step for both of us! I chose a different way, and he recognized his behavior without blaming others, and the emperor has a clean kitchen, but he's asleep and doesn't know it yet. Win. win. win!
Postscript. That night Rockhopper had a 2 plus hour tantrum and Galapagos retreated into her room for the duration. Anything else would have fed into his demands for personal attention. Miles to go!
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